I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
