Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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