I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
