you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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