Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
