well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
