took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
