On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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