My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
