I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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