don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
