Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
