fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
