You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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