idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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