do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
