She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
