imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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