If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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