I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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