How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
