hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
