and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dude. I can hear the air.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
