...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
