I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
