How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
