i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
