You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
