I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
