As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
