I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
