It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize