Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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