its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
