i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
