Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
