She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
