so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
