And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
