True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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