Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
