i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
