There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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