can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
