dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
