omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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