Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
