I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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