And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
