Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
