He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
