just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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