it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
