made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
