U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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