well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This baby is an asshole
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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