the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
