I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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